Poetic Collaboration: Angela Willock

Diagonal Study I, Ally McKay, 2019.  Paper, nail and clay coated jute, wall installation.       AFTER

Diagonal Study I, Ally McKay, 2019.
Paper, nail and clay coated jute, wall installation.

AFTER

I have heard this theory

That there are heartstrings that tether you to every past lover

That can never be broken

That you can tie new strings to new lovers, declare yourself a spider and

Weave something that you swear makes sense

But every new point of connection takes

A little of your weight

So that the person you eventually choose will never know

The full heavy of your body against theirs

So when they say the first fall is the hardest I wonder if this is what they mean

And if this theory is correct

Then I could say that my life is a tapestry of disappointments

I’ve learned to crochet with the names of old flames I no longer know how to speak

Have held the world record for the longest game of tug of war

Between old loves who won’t let me go and new ones I don’t know how to hold

But on my less cynical days

I think of all the times I’ve felt like I was drowning

When I have lurched forward looking for straws

So sure I’m going down and still kept my head above water

That while I’ve looked out to sea waiting for the waves to take me maybe it wasn’t luck that kept me floating

But the tangle of old loves lining the dock

Ropes firmly tied